Groundhog Day 2018: Connection

Looking at my blog and seeing that I haven't published an article since last year, one might think that I'm stuck in Groundhog Day of 2017. The fact is that a year has passed -- and what a year it has been. If you're wondering why you haven't seen an article from me in a while, it's because I have been largely focused on writing for my academic pursuits as well as some other fear related research. However, my mind is not on the intellectual parts of my life, it's on the people.

As I spend time in my usual Groundhog Day reflections, I find myself thinking about connection. Human connection and our connection to our own individual lives. In past reflections, I've written about chaos, time, fear, change, and tradition; the things that make up some constituent parts of life. One piece that seems to be missing is connection.

Today, as I watch the film Groundhog Day [IMDB] on repeat, I'm noticing how Phil connects with others. Throughout the film he forms greater connections with himself as he forms greater connections with the people in his life. The essence of connection is in our intention with it. When we connect with a person in our life, we must be conscious of the significance of the mutual impact of that connection. When we connect with a hobby or interest, we must acknowledge our investment of time and effort into developing a new skill, knowledge base, or practice.

In the film, Phil Connors recognizes the significance of connection as he considers the impact he can have and has already had on the lives of the people in Punxsutawney:
"When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope.
Yet we know winter is just another step in the cycle of life.
But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts,
I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter."


"Ciao!" Image captured from Groundhog Day (1993) [IMDB]

When we focus our minds on our activities and reactions, we become lost in the day-to-day. To find substance in life, we must connect with it. We must become active participants in our own choices, not simply reactants to outside influence. That's not to say that outside influence has no place. In fact, it is through our interactions with the outside world that we discover ourselves. Without connection, life would be bleak and disjointed. Without compassion, life would be cold and empty. Without outside interaction, we would be stuck within our own inner worlds. Outside influences will always impact our lives, situations and people will always exhibit attempts at control over our autonomy. How we respond to those influences and how we choose to influence others is what defines a life of suffering or one of happiness.

Phil frees himself from his daily repetition through his connection with others. His freedom in life comes through his embracing the way that he can be a positive influence toward others. At the start, Phil views the repetition of life as doldrum and torment. For as long as he views the repetition as torment, it is his torture and seems to have no end, even in death. Once he uses the repetition to change his life and the lives of others, the cycle ends and he is free. He has transformed himself and countless others who are connected to him in life.

So, today, I encourage you to ponder the lives entwined with your own. In what ways can you positively influence others. How will you transform yourself and free yourself from the repetition of the day-to-day?

Groundhog Day 2017: Thriving in both chaos and order

It's been ten years since I wrote my first Groundhog Day article and even longer since I made the day something of a personal holiday. Here I am again noting the prognostications of various groundhogs, playing the film Groundhog Day [IMDB] on continuous repeat, reflecting on my journey in life over the past year, and revisiting the thoughts and writings of past Groundhog Days. These traditions are, for the most part, invented for myself by myself. That said, I also appreciate the company of others who choose to celebrate the day that has become uniquely special for me. It's a day that is oddly balanced as a visitation to both the repetitively routine and the excitingly evolving.

This past year has been tumultuous for many. Things have shifted in unexpected directions locally, socially, globally, politically, and environmentally. For better or worse, chaos is upon us. And yet, I find myself unafraid in the face of the unknown. I don't mean apathetic when I say unafraid; I mean that I feel ready and energized to experience new challenges. I have grown as a person thanks to the challenges I've experienced in life. Every new mountaintop -- whether literal or metaphorical -- has given me a new perspective. Sure, climbing each mountain was an arduous journey, but the experience has made me better able to climb the next mountain. Every challenge to my resolve has strengthened my willpower, every sadness has taught me new depths, and every smile has brought me new light. My journeys through chaos has become my new order.

In the ten years since I started writing each Groundhog Day, a lot has happened in my life. I have had more than a few perspective changing experiences coupled with more than a handful of "significant life events". I've learned well to embrace adventure and to seek challenge for myself both in my mind and the world around me. And yet, every year, I still circle back to a day of familiar routine and tradition.

Last year, I wrote about the value of perseverance and action. I expanded on those thoughts in a reflection on time. No matter how you choose to spend the time you have, be present in it. This year, I find myself thinking about the way that chaos has formed me into who I am, but how a personal foundation of meaning has given me purpose.

If life feels like a never-ending repetition, as it was for Phil in Groundhog Day, I invite you to find a way to create a little bit of chaos to stimulate fresh perspective. If instead you find yourself surrounded by chaos and turmoil, find a way to stay in the moment. If you panic, you allow the chaos which surrounds you to become a chaos within you. I invite you to thrive in the external storm of chaos while creating meaning and purpose within.

My life has been an amazing journey these past ten years; amazing in both its unexpected challenges and unanticipated growth. I expect that life will always present the unexpected and I know the future is unknown.
Life is a beautiful mix of chaos and order, routine and the unexpected. To live is to embrace that beauty and to heed the words of Douglas Adams in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" [Goodreads]... Don't Panic.

Janus in June

[Image source: https://takingawalkthroughhistory.wordpress.com/2015/01/16/ianuarius-the-month-of-janus/]

Earlier this month, I was visited by an old friend who had been a supervisor of mine many years ago. Through our years of working together we had created many new processes, projects, and teams which have continued on even after he and I had moved on to other duties in employment and stages of life. I fell out of contact with him when he retired years ago and had sometimes thought to find a way to reconnect.

We happened to come across eachother when he was visiting an old office of ours while I was there making an inquiry of the current occupant. We both immediately shared a look of pleasant surprise and recognition upon seeing eachother. We made time in our day to catch up about all that had happened since his retirement and to reminisce about our time working together.

I'm certainly accustomed to bouts of nostalgia and gratitude, but I found myself notably introspective as I came away from our conversation. I gained a unique -- almost third-party -- perspective in talking with him about all of the changes since his retirement and also noting the things which remained the same. That perspective provided the kindling for a thought: You don't realize how far you've come until you look back at where you've been. I find myself pleasantly captivated with how applicable that thought is to both practical things such as hiking and metaphorically with life.

We spend so much time and energy setting goals, pushing forward, and looking toward new horizons that we sometimes lose touch with the accomplishments we have had and the improvements we have made both within ourselves and the world around us. I'm always eager to experience the next challenge and welcome new opportunities; I hope I will never lose that eagerness and excitement about change, but I now also hope that I can give myself pause in order to appreciate the paths of the past which have brought me to the present.

I'm not advocating for dwelling on the past; I find that people who are stuck in mindsets of bygone times and out-dated ways often stifle innovation, curiosity, and progress. Rather, my thought is that one should attempt to gain satisfaction with the present and motivation to form future goals by intentionally taking note of one's past progress, tasks accomplished, and challenges overcome.

All of life is now

"To find ourselves in a situation in which the gravity of the moment -- the weight of the now -- is so powerful that we find ourselves outside ourselves.... So that our neurotic inner-critic, the voice in our head that is nagging us -- anxious our future or saddened by the past [and] paralyzed by the past -- instead goes silent. And there is a grace in this moment [that] the weight of the now... can serve to purge you of your angst." -- Jason Silva, Shots of Awe (watch the full video and the bottom of this article)


Image Source: The Times of India

Life is a series of moments. Every moment is gone as quickly as it occurs. Neurologically, the moment you perceive as “now” is actually fractions of seconds in the past. Your perception of the present moment extends further into the past through the contextualization of memories and instinct. By the time you are cognitively aware of what is happening, your mind has already analyzed, categorized, and organized your experience.

Our minds are bound by our biology and our perception of time. However, there is power within the boundaries of our perception of time. We can harness the metaphysics of perception to free our minds from dwelling on the loss of the past and from a future limited to routine and repetition.

Last month, on Groundhog Day, I wrote about time and growth and my opinion that one should “never do nothing”. Consider the impact of the intention and focus I wrote about in that article. That intention and focus can be applied not only on growth and self-definition, but also into the perception and experience of time.

Albert Einstein colloquially explained our perception of time and relativity by saying, “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.” The reality of relativity is proven within physics. The reality of relativity within perception can be altered within our minds.

If you find yourself lost in a whirlwind of life, where every day speeds by you, try observing the details surrounding yourself and especially the details of the experience you wish to treasure. If your treasured moment is the one described by Einstein, acknowledge and intentionally remember every detail of that girl’s face. Pay attention to the way her lips move as she speaks, watch her eyes as you listen and respond, observe the way her hair and skin move in the wind or appear in the light. Make every moment an eternity of memory.

If you find yourself bound in boredom or suffering, feeling every second arduously pass within your mind, consider “zoning out”. Release your mind from the constraint of what’s at hand. If your suffering is the suffering described by Einstein, look into the distance (literally or in your mind), detach yourself from the feelings and pain of each moment. Perhaps allow yourself the space to think of your small consequence in the whole of human existence and time’s passing. Find a thought which quickens time’s passing, such as a familiar song, a memory of a slow movie scene, or the slow rolling of waves on to a beach.

Despite today being the equinox, all of time is not equal. Our minds are our perception. The power of thought allows us the power over perception and, therefore, experience. I opened this article with the rousing words of Jason Silva on the power of the present moment. You can use intention and focus to embrace that power and free your mind from the boundaries of the past and future. It all begins (and ends) within your mind.


URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWrHCCYgGSQ

Happy Groundhog Day! Pace yourself and never do nothing

Time. Hours inside days inside years inside decades. All passing in a span we call life. Our lives are defined by time. Even creatures which care not for the actual passage of time still rely on its passing for the continuance of existence. What if you had an infinite amount of time? How would you define your life then?



Another year has passed and Spring is again approaching. Today, I am once again enjoying the silliness of my Groundhog Day tradition and using the film Groundhog Day as a catalyst for reflection and assessment. This is my tenth year writing my Groundhog Day reflections. Ten years ago, when I documented my enjoyment of Groundhog Day, I had no idea what lay ahead in my life nor any thought of what transformation lay between then and ten years later.

Imagine if you awoke within your life ten years ago but with your current mind in your body. Life then would have an entirely differently feeling and your perception of yourself would be completely different. Now, imagine twenty years of perception... Groundhog Day 1996, but you know all that you do about yourself and life up to this point in 2016. Phil Connors, in the film Groundhog Day, spent near infinity in the same day, but he learned, grew, changed, improved, experimented, and explored through it all.

I have many hobbies and thoroughly enjoy finding ways to newly experience life. I consume media (books, films, articles, etc.) like a hungry man at a buffet. I'm sometimes asked how I read, watch, and do as many things as I do. My answer is simple: I never stop. Sometimes a task might seem overwhelming at first; a thousand page book, a thirty mile hike, a mountain of debt, but each challenge becomes smaller once you face it and start into it. Pacing matters, of course; find a rhythm that allows you to consume AND enjoy, but never stop.

Don't waste your time with idleness. No more whatever-is-on-the-radio while driving when you could be listening to that audiobook. No more mindless TV watching when you have so many films you want to watch but never start. No more impulse buys when you have a list of things you want to have but haven't saved for them yet. Boredom doesn't come from a lack of things to do (activity), it comes from a lack of action and intention. Sitting and watching TV is only "a waste of time" if you have no intention in what you watch. It's the difference between wandering while lost and wandering while exploring.

Time defines us and can constrain us if we do not first define ourselves. So, how would you spend your time, if you had a limitless supply of it? What growth would you seek? How would you change your connections with the people around you? How would you redefine your life? Now, ask yourself, what makes today any different than a day in Groundhog Day? You have an unknown amount of time ahead of you. You might have thousands of days more or only a few. Either way, if you define yourself and take action with intention, you will learn to define your time too.

Practice feeling afraid

You approach the podium. Your palms are sweaty. The audience is silent except for a few quiet coughs. Your mouth is dry. Do you remember what you are going to say? Will the words even form coherently? You swallow hard, briefly close your eyes, but when you open them again you're at home. You breath a sigh of relief, remembering that your presentation isn't for another three weeks. That exercise was effective though. Repeated exposure to associated stimuli is a common method for helping individuals address and overcome both minor fears and major trauma¹. The usefulness and accessibility of exposure goes beyond professional therapy and can be brought into your daily life.


Image source: Clipping of a movie poster of "The Fly" (1986) [IMDB], the film from which the pictured quote became famous.

"Be afraid. Be very afraid."
That phrase become well-known thanks to the 1986 film "The Fly". In it, when faced with a frightening situation, one character attempts to reassure while another states, in a matter-of-fact way, that one should be afraid and not pretend away from it. A similar embracing approach to fear is what I read in the short book "The Flinch". I have invited readers on many occasions to embrace fear and welcome the challenges of life. Taking it a step further, I invite you to make experiencing fear a familiar occurrence.

I'm certainly not encouraging you to go out and place yourself in dangerous and life-threatening situations. What I am saying is that you can incorporate the thought exercises and a safe implementation exposure therapy into your experiences with fear. (Beyond the minor common and/or irrational fears, I highly advise the inclusion of a mental health professional.)

I laid out a common fear in my opening, the fear of public speaking. Utilizing a similar thought exercise might enable you to feel less fear when facing the actual situation of public speaking. I don't just mean "practice your speech". I mean imagine the fear and anxiety of going through the scenario, even messing the scenario up. Take yourself through a worst case scenario and then mentally work through how you would handle it and why it's not worth the worst of your fear response. If you're afraid of spiders, learn about them and begin to understand how unlikely it is that they are a danger to you. If you're afraid of heights, sit comfortably on your couch and slowly look through images of high places.

Do these activities daily. Make it routine. You'll feel uncomfortable, you'll feel anxious. You'll react as if you're experiencing the real scenario. Meanwhile, inside your mind, the fear itself is diminishing. What was once a flutter of panic that lit up your amygdala and triggered your fight-or-flight response has now become familiar.

Be afraid, be very afraid, until your mind has learned to recognize and process that feeling as easily as hunger. Fear is manageable and accessible. After all, even if the scenario is often real, the way you think and respond to it is all in your head.

---

¹ For more information about exposure therapy, I suggest starting with this article from the US Department of Veteran Affairs [ptsd.va.gov].

Sometimes things go wrong

I recently reflected on my article about Panic, Luck, and Control. It was good to remind myself of those experiences and to consider the continuing impact of those events. The lessons of mindfulness and awareness of perspective extend beyond life-threatening situations. Today, I had the opportunity to exercise a bit of perspective while experiencing a series of mishaps.


Image source: "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst [Goodreads]

Let me begin by saying that this post is not a rant. To put it crudely: shit happens. The mishaps I experienced today were simple and non-threatening. As you'll see, I kept that in mind throughout the day.

I started the day with a vehicle that wouldn't start, probably due to the very cold temperatures in Colorado currently. A minor inconvenience easily remedied with preparedness. So, I grabbed my portable jump-starter (which I own for just such occasions), hooked it up, and got the vehicle started. The primary use of my vehicles is transporting my kids and that's exactly what I needed it for today. So, after picking them up, we were off to get some groceries and necessities.

Shopping with my kids is always very easy; we have a list, we plan meals beforehand, they know how I shop (by value not by brand), and we happily disregard marketing distractions so that we get only what we came for. So, we completed our list, bought what we needed, and went back to the car. Unfortunately, it wouldn't start again.

At this point, I suspect that the issue is worse than the cold, but -- as I have groceries and my children with me -- I need to find a quick solution now and tinker later. I grab the jump starter (which I'd had the forethought to keep with me in the vehicle for this trip), hook it up, and start the car. Yay! Problem solved and time to go home, right? Nope. I got out of the car, flip the switch off for the jump starter, and the vehicle sputters and dies. Weird. Maybe it just needs a little gas to get the engine warm? I jump it again, start the engine successfully, but get the same sputtering death when I flip off the jump starter.

With the vehicle inoperable, my daughter starts to voice a bit of concern and worry. This is where those lessons I mentioned at the start kicked in for me and I now had an opportunity to pass on similar perspective to her. I told her that this kind of things happen. Things break, plans get messed up, money gets spent, and time passes. Change and chaos are a fact of life, a fact of existence in the universe. The thing which we have control over is how we view those stressors. I explained to her that I could easily be frustrated about the car problems, I could be annoyed that our day was getting "ruined", but that frustration and anger wouldn't fix the car nor magically transport us home with the groceries and on with our day. What that frustration and anger could do is destroy whatever is make the experience that much worse.

We discussed an intentional positive focus in our perspective. What was the good news? Well, we were in the parking lot of a place that sold basic car necessities (batteries, tools, cables, etc.) and we were less than a block from an automotive store from which I could even buy engine replacement parts if necessary. My son chimed in that we could even spend more time looking at the toys and games, insisting that there's no way we could get bored.

I proceeded to deal with the car issues, we were in and out of the store multiple times. I borrowed tools, I pulled the battery, and got it tested. Meanwhile, my kids and I had a bite to eat and spent more time together. Coincidentally, while we were wandering the store, we ran into many people we knew and even got acquainted with a few of the associates. It became kind of fun. I got to see multiple friends, meet new people, catch up on news of their holidays, and shared a shrug and a laugh with a friend who was there swapping out his dead-in-the-cold car battery as well.

At one point, when we were back outside, I accidentally dropped one of the borrowed tools into my engine. My daughter's mouth dropped open with surprise and my sons eyes were the size of saucers. I just started laughing and said, "Really?! Really, Indy?! You haven't had enough yet?" I looked over at my kids with a smile, shook my head, and said, "Guess I needed to make things more interesting." They starting cracking up, the worry disappeared from their faces. I struggled and managed to free the tool from the engine compartment and finished what I was doing.

What could have been "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" had turned into a challenging adventure, not of adrenaline and life-or-death circumstance, but of everyday stress. When it was all over, I had less money in the bank than I'd planned to end the day with, but I still had two happy kids and another bad-day-gone-good memory. Sure, I'll have a bit more cleaning up to do after this, financially and vehicularly, but it's just like sweeping up broken glass when you drop a vase. Sometimes things go wrong, but nothing is really bad until the people involved give up and let that brokenness of circumstance enter their minds and hearts.

Role Models of Defiance

Today, it is again the fifth of November. A day during which I like to consider my place in society and society's place within myself. In previous years, I've used this day to prompt discussions regarding privacy, surveillance, control, and even a bit about setting boundaries. This year, I'd like to discuss the importance of questioning established systems.

I've written before about the costs and concepts of tradition and complacency before, emphasizing the benefits of critical thinking and asking "Why?".

You would not devour a meal before minimally evaluating its edibility, therefore I also encourage you to carefully consider what intellectually digest before you risk poisoning your reason and wisdom.

The same sentiments can be applied toward establishments of authority and organization. In fact, a number of psychological studies imply the challenges encountered when one does not have a healthy counter-balance for authority. One particularly famous (or infamous) study is the Milgram experiment [Wikipedia]. In these studies, Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram measured an individual's willingness to obey the orders of an external authority and inflict perceived harm upon another person, even as inflicted that harm was contrary to their personal ethic. (Hank Green does a great job of summarizing this experiment in "Social Influence: Crash Course Psychology #38" [YouTube])

Of the results summarized by Hank, one significantly caught my attention: "Subjects are more likely to comply with orders if they didn't see anyone else disobeying, no role models of defiance." (You'll notice that it was Hank's words within that video which inspired this article's title and prompted its contents.) When I first heard those words a couple years ago, the gears began turning in my mind. What does it mean to be a "role model of defiance"? Do we have any or many in our society which stand in such a role?


(Please read footnote ¹ regarding this image.)

Politics haunted by fear

This morning, I was greeted by a post from my friend and frequent collaborator. He sought my opinion on "Scary Politics" [Slate].
Fifteen minutes later, I had written what clearly needed to become a full blog article. So, after a bit of editing, here it is....


Image source: "Fear" - Pixar Wiki

Fear is an effective motivator. It's instinctive and requires no higher thought; this is both a good and a bad thing. On the one hand, it can save our skin (literally) when rational decision making would take too long. On the other hand, our innate bodily systems (e.g. the limbic system) override and highjack our rational thought processes. In effect, our mind becomes helpless to the control of fight/flight.

You can see this response reflected in the current conservative base: Fight against perceived threats (terrorism, "lawlessness", drugs that will harm "the children"), run from things which overwhelm your already stressed mind (climate change, social inequality, religion vs reason), prepare for potential problems (tighter budgets, closer to home focus), etc.. Meanwhile, the liberal base is almost blinded by a euphoric abundance of hope and trust. Care for those in need (welfare, healthcare), provide for the future (college loan decrease, better fund education), invite social change and progress (look to the youth, legalize same-sex marriage), etc.. (For initial thoughts on the relationship between fear and trust: "Put your heart into it")

The result of these related but opposite "feelings" is a fundamental clash between ideologies (summarized well recently by Reddit user SnappyCrunch [Reddit]). In my opinion, what's needed is healthy critical thinking on the issues. Sometimes, fear needs to be acknowledged and obeyed. Other times, it needs to be set aside. I try often (and also encourage others) to recognize "The Flinch". Once you recognize that fear response you can engage higher reasoning to determine "Is this something I react to or push through?".

Personally, every time I face a challenge and feel that fear response, that flinch. I would acknowledge it and recognize that -- at that moment -- my body and senses were preparing for what I was going to do. Furthermore, I reassured myself that I had learned and developed the necessary skill to take on what I was about to do at that moment. And then... I proceed with the appropriate action based on those skills and understanding not based on the baser reaction. (If during my honest self-assessment, I felt that I did not have the necessary skill, I would choose not to proceed. Remember, critical thinking is about the decision not the outcome.)

Politically, this means acknowledging the triggers we have as a society and then addressing them on a grander scale with rational thought and respect for those who are struggling to overcome fear and expand their comfort zones. We can do this, but it's going to take effort within the mind of every individual before it will effectively change on a societal scale. As I said in one of my defining blog articles, "Life isn't about panic, luck, and control; it's about love, respect, and trust."

Remembering Reid

Last week, the world lost a fun and uplifting person and I (and many others) lost a friend.
Reid Levin [reidlevin.net] was a friend of mine from my days in High School. Since that time, I'd been an avid follower of his comedy and regular reader of his blog. Before leukemia ended his life on August 25th, Reid said, "I didn't get to finish my story." Seeing those words on his blog [reidlevin.net] really struck me deeply.


Photo source: Wikipedia

I've written before about life's story and the importance of appreciating the adventure of life. This year has been filled with change and challenge for me. Losing my friend Chris to a hiking accident was unexpected, but felt somewhat pallatable, as I make conscious choices to take risks as he often did. Losing Reid affected me in a different way entirely; he didn't choose the path of life with cancer, but he accepted it as best he could. Furthermore, he did all he could to bring happiness to the people in his life no matter how distant from him we were.

I've learned a lot this year, through the examples of both my friends and many others. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have helped me along in my adventure. Reid, I'm so grateful for the smiles you brought me and many others. You may not have had a chance to finish your story, but I hope and think it's still being written in the hearts and minds of the people who know and miss you.

Review: Beyond

Wow.
It’s not often you find depth in brevity, yet here I am in awe of Joe Penna’s short film "Beyond".


URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heCXjUIvw24

The story, the music, the emotion, the meaning, all amazing. Beyond is a beautifully made film involving time-travel, technology, intrigue, and philosophy, but most significantly it is a story that depicts the search for meaning and purpose in life.

At only 40 minutes long, this film is well worth watching. And, I hope, it resonates with you on a personal level, reminding you to seek peace and happiness in your journey through time.

Friendship and the adventure of life

Earlier this evening, I spent some time with a pair of long-time friends who will soon be off on a new adventure in life. Last year, when writing A chapter ends, the story continues, I said that "Life is nothing without the people in it, the experiences we have, and the relationships we form through each chapter."

With that perspective always in mind, it was easy not to spend my time saying goodbye to my friends with sadness. We looked ahead with eagerness on the opportunities we can create with eachother in the future and the memories we’ve shared together in our past.

The words of my character are shown right on the front page of my website:

Life is a journey through exciting challenges and breath-taking experiences. I try to embrace the fun and adventure of each day and strive not to take things too seriously.

There will be significant transitions in my life this month. So many chapters will be ending, but -- as I said in that article last Spring -- the story will continue. I welcome both the celebrations and the hardships which are ahead because each will bring value and enrichment to the adventure of life.

Yes, it will be painful to say goodbye to people who have meant so much to me. Yes, it will ache every time I'm reminded what was, but is no more. However, that pain and those aches will stand as monuments to adventures and people well-remembered.

We remember best the things we feel the most. My greatest adventures are the ones that I experienced with significance. Whether that significance comes from suffering, elation, or even repetition, those memories are truly felt when reflected upon. If there’s advice I can emphasize while I stand at the bow of my metaphorical ship, staring into the storm ahead, it’s this: Trust your instincts and skills. Respect and embrace your challenges. Love with all your heart. And, most of all, live. Really LIVE. Every moment of this life is your adventure.


Photo by Indy. The fedora after a unforgettably cold and challenging adventure.

Review: Supersurvivors

Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success by David B. Feldman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was fascinated and impressed with Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success. This book was laid out beautifully, reviewing points when necessary and tying together ideas cohesively. The use of statistics and studies were perfectly balanced; the authors didn't exhaust readers with an abundance of unexplained data nor did they make baseless conjectures. It would have been easy for this book to have become an empty shell of feel-good "you can do it" mumbo-jumbo, but it wasn't. The book is a coherent explanation of the ways that some individuals might "bounce forward" after trauma and tragedy.

I highly recommend this book for anyone curious about a balanced perspective on human perseverance and the adaptation of mind. This is a refreshing look at concrete commonalities seen in individuals that have turned tragedies into triumphs and/or triumphed after tragedies. Touching on cancer, violence, and even genocide, the book covers a wide area of subject matter and specifically looks at how one might model behaviors and perspectives based on the data.

The authors did a wonderful job of summarizing the overall message I got from this book, so I'll leave you with their final words:
"From each, we learn that it is possible to brave life's trials with a deep sense of hope. And that, rooted in the act of confronting the entanglements of life, every one of us has the capacity to be super."

View all my reviews

Groundhog Day 2015

"Everything changes, nothing remains without change." -- Buddha

Photo by Wotan (Found via Wikipedia)

My life has undergone significant changes over the course of this last year. Some of those changes have been gradual, others have happened in an instant. As a parent, I witness with wonder how quickly my children grow and change; their development mentally, physically, and emotionally happening at an exponential rate. However, rapid change doesn't only occur with children; think of the impact a significant change has had on your mind and body (e.g. loss of a loved one, learning a new skill, meeting a new person, an injury, a move, etc.). One moment you were one person, the next moment you were someone else with an entirely different perspective.

As the years pass and I continue to enjoy my silly little tradition of watching the film Groundhog Day and using it as a catalyst for self-reflection. Last year on Groundhog Day, I had deep thoughts related to metaphorical donuts. Today, while I eat a literal donut, I find myself contemplating how the film remains the same and it is I which continues to change. As Phil repeats living the same day and all else remains constant, he changes within. I've seen this movie too many times to count; some years I even play it on repeat the entire day. That said, each viewing experience seems to bring me something different that I can consider in my life.

That powerful contemplation doesn't come from the unchanged film, but from within as an effect of the life which I have lived since my last viewing. Viewing this film and celebrating a large rodent and its shadow aren't essential to the effect I recognize. Rather, it all comes from within. Life isn't about how much time passes and how little or how much things change, it's how we embrace those changes and value the time we have.

I wonder, with great excitement, what changes will occur between now and the next Groundhog Day. Who will I be when I reflect on these words a year from now? What adventures are in my journey ahead? Today (and each day) I set in motion my future. Today I determine the changes I will create and changes I will undergo as I live this ever-changing life.

Review: An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth

An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth by Chris Hadfield

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth by Chris Hadfield quickly became one of my favorite books while reading/listening to it. I decided to go through this book using both audiobook and written word. I chose to listen to the audiobook because I saw that it was narrated by Chris Hadfield himself; I couldn't think of a better way to hear about his experiences and thoughts than with his tone and delivery, his emotion through spoken word. I read along sometimes and often reviewed specific chapters just so I could highlight a passage that had caught my attention.

This book is itself a journey with Chris in becoming an astronaut and, as such, there are many lessons learned along the way. In fact, there are so many bits of life-applicable information, that I can only select a small few to include coherently in this review. For example, Chris presents a useful metaphor regarding "attitude":

In space flight, "attitude" refers to orientation: which direction your vehicle is pointing relative to the Sun, Earth and other spacecraft. If you lose control of your attitude, two things happen: the vehicle starts to tumble and spin, disorienting everyone on board, and it also strays from its course, which, if you’re short on time or fuel, could mean the difference between life and death. In the Soyuz, for example, we use every cue from every available source—periscope, multiple sensors, the horizon—to monitor our attitude constantly and adjust if necessary. We never want to lose attitude, since maintaining attitude is fundamental to success. In my experience, something similar is true on Earth. Ultimately, I don’t determine whether I arrive at the desired professional destination. Too many variables are out of my control. There’s really just one thing I can control: my attitude during the journey, which is what keeps me feeling steady and stable, and what keeps me headed in the right direction. So I consciously monitor and correct, if necessary, because losing attitude would be far worse than not achieving my goal.

I had read one review of this book as being like a dad-talk and, after reading it, I agree. That said, it is not a patronizing lecture; Chris words are encouraging and uplifting. The kind of dad-talk that motivates you and kindles your spirit. His words are far from "I'm an astronaut, literally and figuratively above you." Instead, they are like this passage:

Fundamentally, life off Earth is in two important respects not at all unworldly: You can choose to focus on the surprises and pleasures, or the frustrations. And you can choose to appreciate the smallest scraps of experience, the everyday moments, or to value only the grandest, most stirring ones. Ultimately, the real question is whether you want to be happy. I didn’t need to leave the planet to find the right answer. But knowing what it was definitely helped me love life off Earth.

Reading this book was a wonderful way to transition into the new year. I highly recommend this book and I'm already looking forward to reading it again in the future.

View all my reviews

Privacy and Social Media

Remember, remember the fifth of November.

Three years ago, I wrote about "Privacy and Control", discussing topics of privacy in a world driven by data-collection and how "our gadgets have or will be taking on qualities commonly associated with gods: omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence". Today, I'd like to remember and reflect on those topics and check-in with how privacy is holding up under the current surveillance of our technology, most especially social media.

Photo: GETTY IMAGES, found here.

The maelstrom of data and information has grown in strength as technology develops. New venues for self-promotional social media pop-up everywhere; we have networks for where you go, what you're doing, what you're reading, what you're watching, who you're with, who might be nearby that you might want to meet, there are even services that enable you view and share the "as-it-happens" actions and location of your pets. For some, this is an exciting exploration of new territory. For others, it's a decent into terror.

The relentless march of technology presents society with an unending series of thin red lines, boundaries beyond which the future of our familiar comforts are uncertain. We seem well aware that data is being gathered. Since publishing my initial article on this subject, there have been a number of controversies, revelations, and even revolutions having to do with privacy and data (e.g. PRISM, Vodafone report, RSA encryption backdoor). Have these events changed our view of technology and privacy? I think the events have certainly made more people aware of a long-existent situation. That awareness has sparked a new surge in privacy-positive actions and services, but I posit that the arms-race of information and privacy is nothing new. The previous surge, on the opposite side, was made in 2001 when the public feared terrorism more than surveillance (e.g. PATRIOT Act, TSA).

The digital and physical worlds continue to blend. New "smart technology" brings more convenience to our households. Some people shy away from these new developments, preferring the safety of familiarity. Personally, I enjoy the forward progress of technology. In fact, my opinion about privacy and technology remains much the same as it was three years ago:

I am unafraid of the omnipresence of technology because I am more than the facts and data amassed. I choose not to attempt to hide the cataloging of my data because I try to never act without intention. Let me be entirely clear about another opinion I have of data and surveillance as it relates to freedom. There are those who would choose to use the gathering of data as a way to prevent others from having the freedom to act of their own will. This is never OK. In my opinion, a person should be allowed to act however they choose; as long as those actions do not prevent another person from making their own -- possibly opposing -- choice.

Social media presents us all with a challenges to our current paradigms. Where do we draw our own personal lines? How much is too much information? Each of us must establish the boundaries of our individual comfort zones [INDY Blog: "Experience the Challenge"]. Much like the differing opinions on personal space within societies around the world, communities may find themselves interacting with individuals with differing social media "personal bubbles". While I often find myself comfortable with a very large social media bubble, you might be inclined to be more private.

Today is the day that you define your boundaries and understand the lines which you are uncomfortable having others cross, whether governmental or social. Once you find those lines, stand up for them firmly. I respect your right to make your own choices. My choices might be different than yours, but I will still advocate for yours as long as they don't impede on the rights of others. Remember, remember the fifth of November.

Review: Between Dog and Wolf

Between Dog and Wolf: Understanding the Connection and the Confusion by Jessica Addams

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Between Dog and Wolf is an enjoyable overview of the behavioral differences between wolves, dogs, and wolf-dogs. Andrew Miller attempts to address the misconceptions and resulting problems that can occur when someone misunderstands the nature of the animal they are trying to have as a pet.

The book is written very well as a introductory overview of animal-human interaction and, as such, provides a reasonable foundation for a better understanding of what wolf and wolf-dog hybrid behaviors can be. The lesson that I think is most important to share with others is that of the difference between "tame" and "domesticated". Any animal can be "tame", it's a trait of personality and conditioning, but "domestication" is a human process that only certain animals have undergone through many generations.

It can be difficult to educate others and change the misconceptions about animal behavior and human interaction, especially when it comes to pets and what people think they can "handle". I found the elephant comparison very enlightening and useful:

Imagine walking into a pet store one afternoon and finding an adorable baby elephant in the window.... It's tiny and friendly and follows you anywhere you go....Then your elephant starts to get older.

It is too big for the children now and sometimes scares them. When they get scared, so does the elephant.... It doesn't understand 'doors' and keeps walking right through the walls. You try to train it, but it is hard to get the animal to listen to you.... It's too heavy for your floor and falls through into the basement. You chain it up outside.

One day, while you are not home, your elephant accidentally injures a neighborhood child who is trying to feed it an apple. The elephant is so excited to see the child that it knocks him over and breaks his arm. The child's mother says the animal is vicious and attacked her child with no provocation and demands it be put down."

It's easy to see how a similar situation can occur with other animals. In point, it's easy to see what might happen when someone does not understand the behaviors and personality of wolves and wolf-dogs. It's important to recognize the difference between a domestic pet and a tame wild animal. This book is a useful resource in clarifying that difference and equipping readers with an understanding that can be shared with others.



View all my reviews

Review: How to Speak Dog

How To Speak Dog: Mastering the Art of Dog-Human Communication by Stanley Coren

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


How To Speak Dog: Mastering the Art of Dog-Human Communication is a masterfully written reference on the topic of canine communication. Stanley Coren thoroughly describes the many methods and messages of canine behavior; he also illustrates those behaviors both literally (with visual references) and anecdotally with personal stories and scientific studies.

I have casually explored canine communication for a number of years, even doing a handful of science projects on the subject as a child. Recently, I have been spending a great deal of time interacting with wolves, wolf-dogs, and dogs, so I found my underdeveloped understanding of canine communication somewhat limiting in practice. Coren's book has given me the opportunity to strengthen my relationships with the animals I regularly interact with and has allowed me to efficiently communicate with new animals I meet.

I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in learning how to communicate and understand our canine companions. I'm not nearly fluent in this new "language", but I feel like my vocabulary has been strengthen by this is an invaluable resource. As the author says in the book's preface:

Understanding how dogs communicate allows a much greater ability to know what they are feeling, what they are thinking, and what their intentions are. It also provides more ways to tell them what you want them to do and to control their behavior.

View all my reviews

A chapter ends, the story continues

Hi, friends

If life is a story, then I want mine to be an adventure. I want to journey into the unknown, discover my challenges and overcome them, share my story with other adventurers, and find out more about myself along the way. My story is certainly still being written and I would not be who I am without every line and every chapter. If there's one thing I know, it's that every challenge contains opportunity.

Each of you reading this has helped me to write some part of my story. Some of my chapters are stained with tears, while others have been highlighted and bookmarked forever. You have journeyed with me through my darkest chapters, you have enriched my story by interweaving it with yours. You might still be helping me to write my story or maybe you are simply reading your favorite passages.

No matter what role you have had in helping me to write my story, I hope that I have and will always help you to write yours. I hope I can be an inspiration to write a bit of adventure into your life, a listening ear when you hit bottom, a voice to call you out of the darkness, or just an embarrassing goof that makes you smile and roll your eyes. My story, my adventure, means more to me because it's written with you.

It's never easy to turn the page on the chapters which mean the most. They say that all good things must come to an end, but sometimes I wish I could reread or rewrite what has been written. I know that every experience adds another line to the page and even the most exciting adventures eventually become stories of the past.

Life is nothing without the people in it, the experiences we have, and the relationships we form through each chapter. Always remember that you are the author of your story and you define the content of your character. Embrace adventure, face your challenges, and always remember to smile. Because your smile might just write the passage that changes someone's entire story. The page you turn today might just be the one you bookmark forever.

Yours truly in the story of life,
Indy

Review: The First 20 Hours

The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything...Fast by Josh Kaufman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Josh Kaufman successfully captured my interest and attention in his book The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything...Fast. Josh is a kindred spirit; we share the same city, we're both active, we're both dads, we have an interest in technology and writing, and we even have like minds when it comes to our hobbies and interests:

Personally, I’ve always had a “Renaissance man” sort of temperament: there are hundreds of things I want to learn at any given moment, in hundreds of different areas.
-- Josh Kaufman, The First 20 Hours.

I pick up hobbies and interests in the same way as Josh, but sometimes I'd find myself overloaded. For example, last year, I managed to achieve a dozen or more goals and aspirations I've had for a long time. It was fun, it was intense, but it was crazy. I took on too much, too fast and I crashed hard.

In fact, it took a literal bicycle crash to make me realize that I had taken on too much last year. I was spreading myself thin and not reaching what Josh calls the "target performance level" in many of my interests. I managed to keep my life-priorities always in order, but my personal hobbies and interests had started to become draining to me.

The First 20 Hours presents some great approaches to "rapid skill acquisition", something I'd always done -- not with intention nor focus. Josh provides a framework that the reader can use to focus in on a skill and reach a desired level of achievement quickly.

I came away from reading the book with a lot of good advice in mind, most especially: "Pick one, and only one, new skill you wish to acquire. Put all of your spare focus and energy into acquiring that skill, and place other skills on temporary hold." If you find yourself interested in picking up a new skill, I encourage you to read Josh's book and give his rapid skill acquisition advice a try. Afterall, "World-class mastery may take ten thousand hours of focused effort, but developing the capacity to perform well enough for your own purposes usually requires far less of an investment."



View all my reviews