Groundhog Day: Repetition and Rest

Today, while I was reflecting on life and what I wanted to write about, I was asked, "How many years can you go [writing about Groundhog Day] without repeating?"
I chuckled, realizing that question had perfectly aligned itself not only with the theme of Groundhog Day [1993] but also with the balance point of repetition and its wear on our minds.

There are many things we repeat. Some every day, and some many times a minute.
Why then do we feel no weight of repetition for the most frequent (i.e. breathing, heart beat) while the relatively infrequent experiences weigh heavy on our minds?
In fact, it often seems that the heaviest stressors are things we feel most when we're not even having the actual experience, usually things we rarely encounter in our daily lives.
... I know what my infrequent but heavy experiences are. I'm sure you are thinking of yours right now too.

So, what do we do when we find ourselves stuck with that mental burden of repetition, especially the infrequent heavy kind?
Set it down.

Just set it down. Let your mind be free of it, even for a moment.
Don't drop it, throw it, ignore it, or hide it. Just set it down and take a moment to feel your mind without it. Perhaps it's something you'll be more ready to carry again now. Or perhaps it's something you'll carry less often.
Whatever the result, give yourself permission to rest. Allow yourself to appreciate the strength of your perseverance, the pauses between the repeated moments, and the peace you can find in your mind.
There is quiet in the pause between heart beats. There is peace in the space between breaths.

"How many years can you go without repeating?"
None; every moment is repetition... and, paradoxically, every moment is also different from all the others.

Groundhog Day 2025: There's only so much time in one day

Happy Groundhog Day!

I usually fill Groundhog Day with philisophical thoughts and reflection, but today needed to be different.
Phil Connors (in Groundhog Day [1993]) may have had a "long day" in which he could pack the lessons, learning, and growth of multiple lifetimes, but I can imagine that even Phil took time in that infinite loop to pause and breathe.

It's easy to try and pack a lifetime of tasks into one day, but there's a lifetime of costs (i.e. stress) when we do.
So, today and each day, remember there's only so much time in one day.

Groundhog Day 2024: What are you going to do today?

Good morning!

It's Groundhog Day... again... and soon I'll be rewatching Phil Connors repetitive journey through a day. After a very, very long journey through "a very long day", but in living that "day" Phil, will reshape his life in a new and better way.

I'm writing and posting this article early today because I want to start it with a variation of Phil's question at the end of the film: "Is there anything I can do for [me/]you, today?"

I hope that question can be a catalyst for reflecting "forward" in order to make today a great day to repeat.

Source: Groundhog Day (1993), IMDB

Groundhog Day 2023: Better next time

Well, it's Groundhog Day... again.
And it's amazing to think a year has passed since my last Groundhog Day reflection. I guess after one watches a film many many times through the years, things start to blend together in memory. In fact, I find these writings have also become a review of what I've written before, if at least so I don't repeat something I've already pondered before.

This year I had a topic in mind before that alarm clock hit 06:00, but that's not what I ended up reflecting on today nor what I'm writing about now. Before I even saw the sun rising this morning, my thoughts wandered in another philosophical Groundhog Day direction.

As we all often do in our days, I had a number of things go not so well today. Of the many minor things which occurred, I'll list three events which are most prominent and useful for discussion.
The first was that I hit my head pretty hard while hurrying to catch a bus... I can still feel the bump more than 15 hours later. The second I'll mention was when I dropped a cupcake that I was looking forward to snacking on. The third and last event I'll mention was a bus ride at the end of the day that ended up being caught in traffic, having the exit for my stop closed, and therefore reaching my stop almost an hour after its scheduled time.
Each of these events were certainly unfortunate, but felt different today thanks to a small bit of Groundhog Day perspective.

After the first event, when I hit my head, I was quite upset. It hurt really bad -- and honestly still is quite tender to the touch. Even so, the circumstances for the occurrence were completely understandable. It just happened to be that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thanks to my thoughts being philosophical today, I found myself thinking, "I'll remember to avoid this occurrence 'next time around'." The idea being as if the day would repeat and I could simply avoid the mistake altogether. That shift in perspective allowed me to laugh at the silliness of the mistake and move on with my day with an added smile. Still a bump on my head, but at least not dwelling on negative thoughts.

Later, during/after some other minor similar unfortunate experiences, I kept a similar perspective. Carrying on "knowing" that I'll just do better next time. By the time I dropped the cupcake which I was very excited to eat, I had internalized that perspective and laughed aloud at the dropped cupcake. I recovered and ate what I still could, then said aloud, "OK. No hitting my head. No [makes motions with hands] while attempting to eat cupcake."

And, finally, after the diverted and delayed bus ride, I departed the bus, smiled and said, "No hitting head, no dropping cupcake, taking [alternate bus route] instead of [delayed bus route]."
I knew none of these notes would be directly applicable, as the day is unlikely to repeat as it does for Phil Connors in the film Groundhog Day [TMDB]. However, I have found this mindset to be freeing today and perhaps something I'll carry forward into the future.

As I think back on my day today and the bumps (literally) along the way, I feel lighter in mindset about the permanence of the choices and experiences we make in our one brief life. Mistakes happen; it's our reaction and recovery from those mistakes which define us, not the mistakes themselves. So, maybe, the next time I hit my head and wish I hadn't, I'll remember that I can still do better next time. And I will. As long as we keep trying, we will each do better next time.

Groundhog Day 2022: Where would you like to be?

I wrote my first Groundhog Day blog fifteen years ago. Since then, I've enjoyed the intentional tradition of meditating on my various PHILosophies in life through the viewing of the 1993 film Groundhog Day [IMDB].

Usually when I choose a direction for my Groundhog Day articles, it's because some theme jumps out to me on my viewing of the film. Typically, I'll watch the film and feel drawn to a certain interpretation. I then use subsequent viewings to hone in on the theme and form my thoughts on it completely. Today was pleasantly different.

The first line of the film caught me immediately upon my initial viewing and I knew what I would write about this year:

"Somebody asked me today, 'Phil, if you could be anywhere in the world, where would you like to be?' And I said to 'em, 'Probably right here...'"

Admittedly, that line continues and Phil identifies a physical location where he'd like to be, based on its current weather forecast. However, the pause after he states "Probably right here" was just long enough for me to think of the question as if regarding a state of being or place in life.

I briefly mentioned being mindful of the present in my 2013 Groundhog Day reflection. That sense of mindfulness can help us value our actions now as we form our future. I find it important to ask myself every now and the same sort of question that Phil mentions. If the answer to that question is, "Probably right here", then I can take a moment to find contentment with the path that's led to this place in life. If the answer is to a place elsewhere in space or time, then I'll know what to adjust to get where I want to be.

I hope you're feeling happy with where you are in life or at least hopeful for the path you have ahead to get there. Take care in this year ahead, we're not through this strange "winter" just yet.

Groundhog Day 2021: Empathy

There are few words which can describe how significant the last 12 months have been in all our lives. We (human society) have been deeply affected by a global pandemic which has changed the way we work, play, learn, interact, and, well, live. And while 2020 contained some wonderous events for me personally, such as my wonderfully personal and connective wedding, the events of the past year have also laid bare some of society's darkness as well. (For more on those sorts of topics though, I'd refer you to my Guy Fawkes Day articles.) Being Groundhog Day, I prefer to pause with internal reflection not outward commentary and evaluation.

When viewing the Groundhog Day film in my usual way today, I looked at it through the lens of this last year. When we watch films, we tend to focus on the experiences and perspective of a specific individual or group. Much of the film's background is therefore filled with people who are "extras" or side-characters. Similarly, we humans tend to view our lives in the same way. We see ourselves as protagonists in our own story and therefore see others as side-characters in it.

Groundhog Day, the film, centers the story around Phil Connors' experiences of repeating the day over and over again. Today, in my viewing, I found myself focusing not on Phil, but on the people around him. I imagined how his actions or words may impact them. Notice the impact of Phil's choice to bribe the piano teacher to oust a young piano student mid-lesson. Or imagine the impact of Phil's degrading comments toward Larry early on in the film. Now, imagine if these experiences are repeated for eternity for those individuals. Meaning, what if Phil's actions in these moments become the moments that these people have to relive with him everyday, the way he relives everyday in the film.

My point in bringing up these observations isn't to condemn Phil. In fact, later in the film, Phil is shown to be quite different as a person. We can envision how this new kind person might have patiently allowed the young piano student to finish her lesson. We also can see when Phil makes an effort to genuinely connect, or at least befriend, Larry by asking him about his life. My point is to prompt that previously mentioned thought exercise: imagine the story these "side-characters" experience through their interaction(s) with Phil. We, as the audience, see the transformation of Phil from "wretch" (to quote Rita's quote) to hero. Each character in that film would likely have a very different view of Phil. "Yesterday, he treated me like trash, but today he wants to be my friend? Will tomorrow be trash again?"

In our lives, we present ourselves to others and share with them a piece of our selves. We give them pieces of our story with which they try to build their own understanding. Now, that understanding is built through their own perspective, bias, and life-experience, but it forms a story in their minds about us. We do the same thing with them. We receive pieces of their story and form those pieces into a story that we tell ourselves about them.

I don't want to delve to deeply in this reflection, so I'll conclude here by saying the following:
Use care when building a story in your head about other people. They live rich full lives and have had wonderful and horrible experiences. Those people aren't simply side-characters in your story.

Lastly, be kind in the way you share your story with others. Your actions and your words will be the story they repeat to themselves about you.

Groundhog Day 2020: Hope

It's Groundhog Day!
If you're reading this I'm sure you're well aware of my Groundhog Day reflections, so I'll jump right into it....

In the film Groundhog Day [IMDB], when Phil Connors begins his long long day, we watch him first experience confusion, then panic, then he tries to indulge his ego and distract himself from his own shallow existence. Those indulgences and distractions are only temporary and eventually reality hits him with a slap to the face. He crashes into despair and hopelessness. Time and time again, he tries to end his empty experience, even attempting to kill himself in various ways. Eventually, we see him seated with Rita as he confides in her his belief that he is a god, an immortal being, bound to endless torture in a single day.

While amazed at his knowledge of the townspeople, Rita is undaunted in her patience. As they spend the day together, Rita displays her general optimism which is quite contrary to how Phil approaches life at that point in the film. Earlier, Phil was the subject of a spot on observation by Gus in the bowling alley: "You know, some people would see this glass and say it's half full. Other people would say it's half empty. I'm thinking you're a half-empty kind of guy." Gus is right about Phil in at least two ways. Not only is Phil a pessimist -- seeing the glass as half empty, he's also a half-empty person. Phil is so wrapped up in himself that he doesn't see the world around him.

Rita casually mentions how she would use the opportunity to repeat a day. Her optimistic idea nudges Phil to take a new perspective on his experience: "I don't know, Phil. Maybe it's not a curse. It depends on how you look at it." The next morning, he is fresh and excited to embrace his journey as a whole. He leaps out of bed and begins treating every person he can with kindness. Each day is a new day. One new morning, we see him leave his room and answer his fellow hotel guest with the words, "Winter slumbering in the open air, wears on his smiling face a dream of Spring!"
That line is from the 19th century poem, I've included here:

Work without Hope
by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
February 1825

All Nature seems at work. Slugs leave their lair.
The bees are stirring, birds are on the wing.
And Winter slumbering in the open air,
Wears on his smiling face a dream of Spring!
And I the while, the sole unbusy thing,
Nor honey make, nor pair, nor build, nor sing.

Yet well I ken the banks where amaranths blow,
Have traced the fount whence streams of nectar flow.
Bloom, O ye amaranths! bloom for whom ye may,
For me ye bloom not! Glide, rich streams, away!
With lips unbrightened, wreathless brow, I stroll:
And would you learn the spells that drowse my soul?
Work without Hope draws nectar in a sieve,
And Hope without an object cannot live.

I've written before about the importance of connection and creating purpose for yourself. Those fundamentals are certainly important, but beneath those fundamentals is a foundation of hope. Phil's hopeless pessimism is what destroys his dreams time and time again. He tries to get what he wants, but he never really buys into the journey. He only reaches for the destination. Once Phil embraces his experiences with hope, we see him begin to change as a person. Phil's daily work becomes full of hope, not empty like the result of attempting to catch nectar in a sieve.

Think of this while you pass these last minutes before midnight or while you embrace your new day. What is your Spring? What hope is in your dreams? Will you endure winter in the open air, keeping warm with a dream of Spring?
I think I will. Colorado has a "big blue thing" on its way tonight, so I HOPE I can stay warm with a dream of my Spring, both literal and metaphorical.

Ciao!

-----------

By the way, this year's Groundhog Day has TWO special bonuses!
First, today's date is a palindrome whether you write it 2020-02-02 (yyyy-mm-dd), 02-02-2020 (dd-mm-yyyy), or 02-02-2020 (mm-dd-yyyy).
Second, Bill Murray was in an ad today which played a bit with his role in Groundhog Day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnhzGUcENWo
His day sure does look full of hope.

Groundhog Day 2019: Priorities and Prediction

It's Groundhog Day. Again. My silly tradition of using this day as inspiration for self-reflection continues for another year. Throughout my groundhog day reflections, I've written about many things. As I sit here thinking back on the past year and life in general, I find myself thinking about priorities and prediction.

Life can be beautiful in its chaos and entrancing in its opportunities for connection. Today, we are the person who was molded by our life up to this point. Tomorrow, we will be a slightly different person, changed by the experiences of today. If we attempt to predict who we will become in the future, at the whim of our daily lives, our predictions are increasingly inaccurate the further into the future we imagine. We can better predict who we will be in one minute than who we will be in one year. Life changes us, very much so, but we too can change our lives.



Prioritization is how we determine the importance of our life's components (e.g. activities, interests, people). We set that priority through the application of our time and engagement. That priority then defines the thing's impact and integration into who we are. For example, I have spent many many years being interested and engaged in adventure seeking. That interest has become a part of who I am, all the way into my daily personality. Our choices today will form routines, those routines will become habits, those habits will solidify into our minds and become us.

We should be intentional with how we set our priorities everyday. Today, my first priority -- having finished a bit of breakfast -- is writing this article. Tomorrow, I'll set my mind to other tasks that are of priority as well. In the film Groundhog Day [IMDB], Phil Connors develops a routine, setting his priorities of the day such as to maximize his impact on the town around him. Through the routine exercise of these experiences, he becomes someone whose personage reflects his forming priorities of kindness toward people, development of self, and an exploration of art.

Who do you want to be? Define yourself with a goal in mind and build routines that will move you toward that goal. Set your priorities in life such that who you become is who you wanted to be.

Groundhog Day 2018: Connection

Looking at my blog and seeing that I haven't published an article since last year, one might think that I'm stuck in Groundhog Day of 2017. The fact is that a year has passed -- and what a year it has been. If you're wondering why you haven't seen an article from me in a while, it's because I have been largely focused on writing for my academic pursuits as well as some other fear related research. However, my mind is not on the intellectual parts of my life, it's on the people.

As I spend time in my usual Groundhog Day reflections, I find myself thinking about connection. Human connection and our connection to our own individual lives. In past reflections, I've written about chaos, time, fear, change, and tradition; the things that make up some constituent parts of life. One piece that seems to be missing is connection.

Today, as I watch the film Groundhog Day [IMDB] on repeat, I'm noticing how Phil connects with others. Throughout the film he forms greater connections with himself as he forms greater connections with the people in his life. The essence of connection is in our intention with it. When we connect with a person in our life, we must be conscious of the significance of the mutual impact of that connection. When we connect with a hobby or interest, we must acknowledge our investment of time and effort into developing a new skill, knowledge base, or practice.

In the film, Phil Connors recognizes the significance of connection as he considers the impact he can have and has already had on the lives of the people in Punxsutawney:
"When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope.
Yet we know winter is just another step in the cycle of life.
But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts,
I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter."


"Ciao!" Image captured from Groundhog Day (1993) [IMDB]

When we focus our minds on our activities and reactions, we become lost in the day-to-day. To find substance in life, we must connect with it. We must become active participants in our own choices, not simply reactants to outside influence. That's not to say that outside influence has no place. In fact, it is through our interactions with the outside world that we discover ourselves. Without connection, life would be bleak and disjointed. Without compassion, life would be cold and empty. Without outside interaction, we would be stuck within our own inner worlds. Outside influences will always impact our lives, situations and people will always exhibit attempts at control over our autonomy. How we respond to those influences and how we choose to influence others is what defines a life of suffering or one of happiness.

Phil frees himself from his daily repetition through his connection with others. His freedom in life comes through his embracing the way that he can be a positive influence toward others. At the start, Phil views the repetition of life as doldrum and torment. For as long as he views the repetition as torment, it is his torture and seems to have no end, even in death. Once he uses the repetition to change his life and the lives of others, the cycle ends and he is free. He has transformed himself and countless others who are connected to him in life.

So, today, I encourage you to ponder the lives entwined with your own. In what ways can you positively influence others. How will you transform yourself and free yourself from the repetition of the day-to-day?

Groundhog Day 2017: Thriving in both chaos and order

It's been ten years since I wrote my first Groundhog Day article and even longer since I made the day something of a personal holiday. Here I am again noting the prognostications of various groundhogs, playing the film Groundhog Day [IMDB] on continuous repeat, reflecting on my journey in life over the past year, and revisiting the thoughts and writings of past Groundhog Days. These traditions are, for the most part, invented for myself by myself. That said, I also appreciate the company of others who choose to celebrate the day that has become uniquely special for me. It's a day that is oddly balanced as a visitation to both the repetitively routine and the excitingly evolving.

This past year has been tumultuous for many. Things have shifted in unexpected directions locally, socially, globally, politically, and environmentally. For better or worse, chaos is upon us. And yet, I find myself unafraid in the face of the unknown. I don't mean apathetic when I say unafraid; I mean that I feel ready and energized to experience new challenges. I have grown as a person thanks to the challenges I've experienced in life. Every new mountaintop -- whether literal or metaphorical -- has given me a new perspective. Sure, climbing each mountain was an arduous journey, but the experience has made me better able to climb the next mountain. Every challenge to my resolve has strengthened my willpower, every sadness has taught me new depths, and every smile has brought me new light. My journeys through chaos has become my new order.

In the ten years since I started writing each Groundhog Day, a lot has happened in my life. I have had more than a few perspective changing experiences coupled with more than a handful of "significant life events". I've learned well to embrace adventure and to seek challenge for myself both in my mind and the world around me. And yet, every year, I still circle back to a day of familiar routine and tradition.

Last year, I wrote about the value of perseverance and action. I expanded on those thoughts in a reflection on time. No matter how you choose to spend the time you have, be present in it. This year, I find myself thinking about the way that chaos has formed me into who I am, but how a personal foundation of meaning has given me purpose.

If life feels like a never-ending repetition, as it was for Phil in Groundhog Day, I invite you to find a way to create a little bit of chaos to stimulate fresh perspective. If instead you find yourself surrounded by chaos and turmoil, find a way to stay in the moment. If you panic, you allow the chaos which surrounds you to become a chaos within you. I invite you to thrive in the external storm of chaos while creating meaning and purpose within.

My life has been an amazing journey these past ten years; amazing in both its unexpected challenges and unanticipated growth. I expect that life will always present the unexpected and I know the future is unknown.
Life is a beautiful mix of chaos and order, routine and the unexpected. To live is to embrace that beauty and to heed the words of Douglas Adams in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" [Goodreads]... Don't Panic.

Review: A Misfit Entrepreneur's Guide to Building a Business Your Way

A Misfit Entrepreneur's Guide to Building a Business Your Way by Ariana M. Friedlander

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I was approached by a mutual friend to review Ariana M. Friedlander's book A Misfit Entrepreneur's Guide to Building a Business Your Way. I later met with Ariana to ask her about the style and subject matter of her book, I wanted to be sure that it would align with my interests. I warned her that I don't alter my book reviews based on popularity of a book nor the source of its recommendation. She understood and still invited me to receive and review it.

I'm happy to say that my initial warnings were unnecessary as I very much enjoyed A Misfit Entrepreneur's Guide to Building a Business Your Way. Whilst reading the book, I found myself often thinking that this was not only a "guide to building a business" but a guide to building a great life.

I enjoyed Ariana's use of cycling metaphor and her overview of related works to each chapter's topic. Unlike many other books of this style which spend too much time telling readers of their own success, Ariana kept her personal stories on topic and down-to-Earth in the reality of her challenges. The book relays a number of tips for overcoming challenges (internal and external) to reaching your goals. Many of the books she recommends for further reading are ones which I have enjoyed. Better still, she summarizes the ideas from those books well for people who have not yet read them.

I feel more than comfortable giving this easy read 5 out of 5 stars. Well done, Ariana. Your journey is one which I hope can inspire other misfits to reach for their goals in both business and life.



View all my reviews

Janus in June

[Image source: https://takingawalkthroughhistory.wordpress.com/2015/01/16/ianuarius-the-month-of-janus/]

Earlier this month, I was visited by an old friend who had been a supervisor of mine many years ago. Through our years of working together we had created many new processes, projects, and teams which have continued on even after he and I had moved on to other duties in employment and stages of life. I fell out of contact with him when he retired years ago and had sometimes thought to find a way to reconnect.

We happened to come across eachother when he was visiting an old office of ours while I was there making an inquiry of the current occupant. We both immediately shared a look of pleasant surprise and recognition upon seeing eachother. We made time in our day to catch up about all that had happened since his retirement and to reminisce about our time working together.

I'm certainly accustomed to bouts of nostalgia and gratitude, but I found myself notably introspective as I came away from our conversation. I gained a unique -- almost third-party -- perspective in talking with him about all of the changes since his retirement and also noting the things which remained the same. That perspective provided the kindling for a thought: You don't realize how far you've come until you look back at where you've been. I find myself pleasantly captivated with how applicable that thought is to both practical things such as hiking and metaphorically with life.

We spend so much time and energy setting goals, pushing forward, and looking toward new horizons that we sometimes lose touch with the accomplishments we have had and the improvements we have made both within ourselves and the world around us. I'm always eager to experience the next challenge and welcome new opportunities; I hope I will never lose that eagerness and excitement about change, but I now also hope that I can give myself pause in order to appreciate the paths of the past which have brought me to the present.

I'm not advocating for dwelling on the past; I find that people who are stuck in mindsets of bygone times and out-dated ways often stifle innovation, curiosity, and progress. Rather, my thought is that one should attempt to gain satisfaction with the present and motivation to form future goals by intentionally taking note of one's past progress, tasks accomplished, and challenges overcome.

Embrace the adventure, Part 2

I’d had a pretty normal day, but due to work-related events I ended up heading home on a different bus route and a later time than usual. I arrived at a connection point just in time to watch the next route I wanted to catch pull away. No worries, I’d just sit and wait, with plenty of ways I could occupy my time and mind; “boredom doesn't come from a lack of things to do (activity), it comes from a lack of action and intention.”

I sat at the stop, while continuing to listen to an audiobook, but decided I wanted to use the time creating/engaging rather than only absorbing. Remembering that there was a Pianos Around Town [fcgov.com] piano nearby, I walked over to play while I waited for my bus.


Photo source: http://www.fcgov.com/artspublic/pianos.php

I started playing a melody which always seems to tune my mind into music and spread a peaceful calm to the world around me.


As I played, I heard the strings of a guitar being plucked. I concluded my song and turned my attention in the direction from which the sound of the guitar had come. My glance was returned by the smiles of two travellers I had seen sitting together against the wall of the bus station. One held a small guitar in her hands, the other clapped his hands together in applause.

They complimented my music and asked about the song. The guitarist said she’d been trying to find the right notes and chords to play along. Many people might have ignored or even passed judgement on these two travellers, based only on their appearance and gear. However, I saw an opportunity to welcome the discovery of a new story -- or in this case, music. I offered to attempt a song I thought they’d appreciate and recognize.

“Try this one. Let’s see how quickly you guys recognize it.” I said, as I started to play again.


I’d barely started playing the first notes when the guy exclaimed, “The Pixies!! I was just thinking about this song!”
Exactly. The three of us called out the well-known title lyrics: “Where is my mind?” I continued my attempt to play, broken as it was due to my recent lack of practice. I named the chords as I played, so the guitarist could play along.

After a minute or two, she began to sing. Her voice was incredible. The smoky rasp in her singing voice gave it fullness and character which fit perfectly to the song. I immediately wished I could record her vocals for this song and combine it with my version of the piano arrangement.

I’d love to say that we played beautifully to the end of the song, but the reality is that I was so out of practice that I could barely play the first stanza. Eventually, I noticed the time and saw the bus I thought mine pulling in. We exchanged names and social media information and I hurried toward the bus. Had I been sitting in passive waiting, I might have been disappointed that it ended up being the wrong bus, but instead I found myself relieved… I could return to continue the conversation with my new acquaintances: “Travelin’ Trav” and Cole.

I was greeted with when I returned to their spot, “You even have the hat!”; they’d already pulled up my website and saw me wearing my fedora. Our conversation turned to a discussion of adventure and travel. There I was standing among kindred spirits, not wearing the appearance of Indy the adventurer but of Indy the tie-wearing professional.

Embrace the adventure. http://blog.indy.cc/2016/05/embrace-adventure-part-1.html

A photo posted by Indy Hart (@insta4indy) on May 13, 2016 at 8:43pm PDT

We discussed the magic of our meeting. How our inner mantras had brought us to the same place with compatible attitudes and openness. My desire to seek adventure throughout life, Trav’s enjoyment of peaceful meandering and exploration, and -- most significantly -- Cole’s draw to “always follow the music”.

In the first part of this writing, I described how I found paradise instead of despair. In the adventure of life, we’re sometimes the ones stranded in the wilderness, other times we’re the tow truck driver. Had I not decided to play the piano and had Cole not followed the music, our lives would be short one story and another amazing adventure.

Someday, I might try to combine Cole’s spectacular vocals with a piano arrangement of that song by The Pixies. Regardless, I hope I can continue to “embrace the fun and adventure of each day and strive not to take things too seriously.” Because…

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
If there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind

Embrace the adventure, Part 1

Tonight, three adventurers met at a bus station. Before we get to that story, though, I should explain what made one of them an adventurer in the first place.

Three years ago, I was sitting in an engine-dead vehicle in the backcountry of a wilderness area. I had been on my way to the trailhead of a big mountain hike. In fact, the trailhead was just beyond the small hill on which the engine of my vehicle had seized up and quit. I was stranded. My week of multiple big mountain solo hikes had been cut short.

I flagged down some ATVs and got help moving my vehicle out of the way of potential 4x4 traffic. I was overwhelmed with despair, but I made up my mind to allow myself one last hike. Afterall, I was nearly at the trailhead. I slept in my car and hiked as planned the next morning. Perhaps it was the knowledge of what troubles awaited me back at the trailhead which made the hike one of my favorites; everything on that less-travelled side of that mountain seemed more full of life than any other prior hike.

I returned to the trailhead, ready to handle my challenges with a clear head and open mind. I stopped a passing vehicle and was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar face. One of the passengers was an old acquaintance. I asked for a ride back into town and they agreed. Considering my circumstance, it was an enjoyable drive to be able to catch up and truly understand the meaning of the word serendipity.

After arriving in town, thanking my companions, and sending them on their way, I found my way into an art studio. I introduced myself and explained my predicament. The artist graciously allowed me to use her space and internet so I could make arrangements for an off-road tow truck. Conversation passed the time quickly as I waited for the truck to pick me up in order to retrieve my vehicle. Soon, I was on my way back toward the mountain.

On the drive to my vehicle, the tow truck driver and I discussed arrangements for the evening. Once we returned to town, he would have to transfer my vehicle from the off-road truck to one suited to highway driving. He asked where I’d like the vehicle taken. I decided that, with the engine likely destroyed, I might as well just get a ride all the way back to Northern Colorado. I would have to get back there eventually anyway.

Considering the lateness of the hour, the driver asked if we could make that long drive the next day. I agreed and suggested that he drop me and my car off in a grocery store parking lot or somewhere I could put my tent for the night. This is what I heard next….
“I could do that, if that’s what you want, but I have another idea. Before I came to get you, I’d been camping with my family near the lake. Why don’t you camp at our campground and stay there for the night?”
I remember taking a moment to consider his invitation. I didn’t want to impose, I’d already interrupted his vacation... but, then again, it was a better option than a parking lot.
I agreed.

The campground exceeded my expectations. His family was friendly and welcoming, the food was spectacular, and, after the fire died down, I wandered out to the lake and watched a beautiful show of inside-cloud lightning. With the distant rumble of thunder, I slept wonderfully. At dawn, I awoke to take in the daytime view of the lake and the surrounding mountains.


Photo by Indy

To this day, that place in my memory is paradise and it all came about because I embraced the adventure instead of accepting defeat when challenged. However, tonight, I didn’t seek out adventure. Adventure came to me.

For now, I need sleep. I’ll split this into two parts and tomorrow I’ll finally tell you about those three adventurers at the bus station.

Part 2: http://blog.indy.cc/2016/05/embrace-adventure-part-2.html

All of life is now

"To find ourselves in a situation in which the gravity of the moment -- the weight of the now -- is so powerful that we find ourselves outside ourselves.... So that our neurotic inner-critic, the voice in our head that is nagging us -- anxious our future or saddened by the past [and] paralyzed by the past -- instead goes silent. And there is a grace in this moment [that] the weight of the now... can serve to purge you of your angst." -- Jason Silva, Shots of Awe (watch the full video and the bottom of this article)


Image Source: The Times of India

Life is a series of moments. Every moment is gone as quickly as it occurs. Neurologically, the moment you perceive as “now” is actually fractions of seconds in the past. Your perception of the present moment extends further into the past through the contextualization of memories and instinct. By the time you are cognitively aware of what is happening, your mind has already analyzed, categorized, and organized your experience.

Our minds are bound by our biology and our perception of time. However, there is power within the boundaries of our perception of time. We can harness the metaphysics of perception to free our minds from dwelling on the loss of the past and from a future limited to routine and repetition.

Last month, on Groundhog Day, I wrote about time and growth and my opinion that one should “never do nothing”. Consider the impact of the intention and focus I wrote about in that article. That intention and focus can be applied not only on growth and self-definition, but also into the perception and experience of time.

Albert Einstein colloquially explained our perception of time and relativity by saying, “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.” The reality of relativity is proven within physics. The reality of relativity within perception can be altered within our minds.

If you find yourself lost in a whirlwind of life, where every day speeds by you, try observing the details surrounding yourself and especially the details of the experience you wish to treasure. If your treasured moment is the one described by Einstein, acknowledge and intentionally remember every detail of that girl’s face. Pay attention to the way her lips move as she speaks, watch her eyes as you listen and respond, observe the way her hair and skin move in the wind or appear in the light. Make every moment an eternity of memory.

If you find yourself bound in boredom or suffering, feeling every second arduously pass within your mind, consider “zoning out”. Release your mind from the constraint of what’s at hand. If your suffering is the suffering described by Einstein, look into the distance (literally or in your mind), detach yourself from the feelings and pain of each moment. Perhaps allow yourself the space to think of your small consequence in the whole of human existence and time’s passing. Find a thought which quickens time’s passing, such as a familiar song, a memory of a slow movie scene, or the slow rolling of waves on to a beach.

Despite today being the equinox, all of time is not equal. Our minds are our perception. The power of thought allows us the power over perception and, therefore, experience. I opened this article with the rousing words of Jason Silva on the power of the present moment. You can use intention and focus to embrace that power and free your mind from the boundaries of the past and future. It all begins (and ends) within your mind.


URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWrHCCYgGSQ

Happy Groundhog Day! Pace yourself and never do nothing

Time. Hours inside days inside years inside decades. All passing in a span we call life. Our lives are defined by time. Even creatures which care not for the actual passage of time still rely on its passing for the continuance of existence. What if you had an infinite amount of time? How would you define your life then?



Another year has passed and Spring is again approaching. Today, I am once again enjoying the silliness of my Groundhog Day tradition and using the film Groundhog Day as a catalyst for reflection and assessment. This is my tenth year writing my Groundhog Day reflections. Ten years ago, when I documented my enjoyment of Groundhog Day, I had no idea what lay ahead in my life nor any thought of what transformation lay between then and ten years later.

Imagine if you awoke within your life ten years ago but with your current mind in your body. Life then would have an entirely differently feeling and your perception of yourself would be completely different. Now, imagine twenty years of perception... Groundhog Day 1996, but you know all that you do about yourself and life up to this point in 2016. Phil Connors, in the film Groundhog Day, spent near infinity in the same day, but he learned, grew, changed, improved, experimented, and explored through it all.

I have many hobbies and thoroughly enjoy finding ways to newly experience life. I consume media (books, films, articles, etc.) like a hungry man at a buffet. I'm sometimes asked how I read, watch, and do as many things as I do. My answer is simple: I never stop. Sometimes a task might seem overwhelming at first; a thousand page book, a thirty mile hike, a mountain of debt, but each challenge becomes smaller once you face it and start into it. Pacing matters, of course; find a rhythm that allows you to consume AND enjoy, but never stop.

Don't waste your time with idleness. No more whatever-is-on-the-radio while driving when you could be listening to that audiobook. No more mindless TV watching when you have so many films you want to watch but never start. No more impulse buys when you have a list of things you want to have but haven't saved for them yet. Boredom doesn't come from a lack of things to do (activity), it comes from a lack of action and intention. Sitting and watching TV is only "a waste of time" if you have no intention in what you watch. It's the difference between wandering while lost and wandering while exploring.

Time defines us and can constrain us if we do not first define ourselves. So, how would you spend your time, if you had a limitless supply of it? What growth would you seek? How would you change your connections with the people around you? How would you redefine your life? Now, ask yourself, what makes today any different than a day in Groundhog Day? You have an unknown amount of time ahead of you. You might have thousands of days more or only a few. Either way, if you define yourself and take action with intention, you will learn to define your time too.

Practice feeling afraid

You approach the podium. Your palms are sweaty. The audience is silent except for a few quiet coughs. Your mouth is dry. Do you remember what you are going to say? Will the words even form coherently? You swallow hard, briefly close your eyes, but when you open them again you're at home. You breath a sigh of relief, remembering that your presentation isn't for another three weeks. That exercise was effective though. Repeated exposure to associated stimuli is a common method for helping individuals address and overcome both minor fears and major trauma¹. The usefulness and accessibility of exposure goes beyond professional therapy and can be brought into your daily life.


Image source: Clipping of a movie poster of "The Fly" (1986) [IMDB], the film from which the pictured quote became famous.

"Be afraid. Be very afraid."
That phrase become well-known thanks to the 1986 film "The Fly". In it, when faced with a frightening situation, one character attempts to reassure while another states, in a matter-of-fact way, that one should be afraid and not pretend away from it. A similar embracing approach to fear is what I read in the short book "The Flinch". I have invited readers on many occasions to embrace fear and welcome the challenges of life. Taking it a step further, I invite you to make experiencing fear a familiar occurrence.

I'm certainly not encouraging you to go out and place yourself in dangerous and life-threatening situations. What I am saying is that you can incorporate the thought exercises and a safe implementation exposure therapy into your experiences with fear. (Beyond the minor common and/or irrational fears, I highly advise the inclusion of a mental health professional.)

I laid out a common fear in my opening, the fear of public speaking. Utilizing a similar thought exercise might enable you to feel less fear when facing the actual situation of public speaking. I don't just mean "practice your speech". I mean imagine the fear and anxiety of going through the scenario, even messing the scenario up. Take yourself through a worst case scenario and then mentally work through how you would handle it and why it's not worth the worst of your fear response. If you're afraid of spiders, learn about them and begin to understand how unlikely it is that they are a danger to you. If you're afraid of heights, sit comfortably on your couch and slowly look through images of high places.

Do these activities daily. Make it routine. You'll feel uncomfortable, you'll feel anxious. You'll react as if you're experiencing the real scenario. Meanwhile, inside your mind, the fear itself is diminishing. What was once a flutter of panic that lit up your amygdala and triggered your fight-or-flight response has now become familiar.

Be afraid, be very afraid, until your mind has learned to recognize and process that feeling as easily as hunger. Fear is manageable and accessible. After all, even if the scenario is often real, the way you think and respond to it is all in your head.

---

¹ For more information about exposure therapy, I suggest starting with this article from the US Department of Veteran Affairs [ptsd.va.gov].

Sometimes things go wrong

I recently reflected on my article about Panic, Luck, and Control. It was good to remind myself of those experiences and to consider the continuing impact of those events. The lessons of mindfulness and awareness of perspective extend beyond life-threatening situations. Today, I had the opportunity to exercise a bit of perspective while experiencing a series of mishaps.


Image source: "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst [Goodreads]

Let me begin by saying that this post is not a rant. To put it crudely: shit happens. The mishaps I experienced today were simple and non-threatening. As you'll see, I kept that in mind throughout the day.

I started the day with a vehicle that wouldn't start, probably due to the very cold temperatures in Colorado currently. A minor inconvenience easily remedied with preparedness. So, I grabbed my portable jump-starter (which I own for just such occasions), hooked it up, and got the vehicle started. The primary use of my vehicles is transporting my kids and that's exactly what I needed it for today. So, after picking them up, we were off to get some groceries and necessities.

Shopping with my kids is always very easy; we have a list, we plan meals beforehand, they know how I shop (by value not by brand), and we happily disregard marketing distractions so that we get only what we came for. So, we completed our list, bought what we needed, and went back to the car. Unfortunately, it wouldn't start again.

At this point, I suspect that the issue is worse than the cold, but -- as I have groceries and my children with me -- I need to find a quick solution now and tinker later. I grab the jump starter (which I'd had the forethought to keep with me in the vehicle for this trip), hook it up, and start the car. Yay! Problem solved and time to go home, right? Nope. I got out of the car, flip the switch off for the jump starter, and the vehicle sputters and dies. Weird. Maybe it just needs a little gas to get the engine warm? I jump it again, start the engine successfully, but get the same sputtering death when I flip off the jump starter.

With the vehicle inoperable, my daughter starts to voice a bit of concern and worry. This is where those lessons I mentioned at the start kicked in for me and I now had an opportunity to pass on similar perspective to her. I told her that this kind of things happen. Things break, plans get messed up, money gets spent, and time passes. Change and chaos are a fact of life, a fact of existence in the universe. The thing which we have control over is how we view those stressors. I explained to her that I could easily be frustrated about the car problems, I could be annoyed that our day was getting "ruined", but that frustration and anger wouldn't fix the car nor magically transport us home with the groceries and on with our day. What that frustration and anger could do is destroy whatever is make the experience that much worse.

We discussed an intentional positive focus in our perspective. What was the good news? Well, we were in the parking lot of a place that sold basic car necessities (batteries, tools, cables, etc.) and we were less than a block from an automotive store from which I could even buy engine replacement parts if necessary. My son chimed in that we could even spend more time looking at the toys and games, insisting that there's no way we could get bored.

I proceeded to deal with the car issues, we were in and out of the store multiple times. I borrowed tools, I pulled the battery, and got it tested. Meanwhile, my kids and I had a bite to eat and spent more time together. Coincidentally, while we were wandering the store, we ran into many people we knew and even got acquainted with a few of the associates. It became kind of fun. I got to see multiple friends, meet new people, catch up on news of their holidays, and shared a shrug and a laugh with a friend who was there swapping out his dead-in-the-cold car battery as well.

At one point, when we were back outside, I accidentally dropped one of the borrowed tools into my engine. My daughter's mouth dropped open with surprise and my sons eyes were the size of saucers. I just started laughing and said, "Really?! Really, Indy?! You haven't had enough yet?" I looked over at my kids with a smile, shook my head, and said, "Guess I needed to make things more interesting." They starting cracking up, the worry disappeared from their faces. I struggled and managed to free the tool from the engine compartment and finished what I was doing.

What could have been "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" had turned into a challenging adventure, not of adrenaline and life-or-death circumstance, but of everyday stress. When it was all over, I had less money in the bank than I'd planned to end the day with, but I still had two happy kids and another bad-day-gone-good memory. Sure, I'll have a bit more cleaning up to do after this, financially and vehicularly, but it's just like sweeping up broken glass when you drop a vase. Sometimes things go wrong, but nothing is really bad until the people involved give up and let that brokenness of circumstance enter their minds and hearts.

Who are your VIPs?

Last Spring, I had the opportunity to listen to a presentation by Brian Callahan, the Director of Fun at New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins, Colorado. Amidst a number of entertaining and enlightening anecdotes about the company and its history, Brian made an insightful statement that struck me as applicable beyond business. He had been asked by another member of the audience to define what makes a person a VIP for New Belgium. Brian replied, "[A VIP] would be someone who can influence sales." He elaborated on what that meant, as far as business, but that initial sentence resonated with me and I considered its implications.


Image source: eventwristbands.com

We, as individuals, are each the product of our life’s manufacture. We build and advance ourselves as we strive to reach for goals and connect with people. Considering that perspective, one might say that many of our interactions in life are opportunities to market who we are. I don’t mean that to say that we are selfishly promoting our “product” (self) in competition with other “products” (other individuals). What I mean is that each new interaction is our way of presenting our product and how it might integrate with the current scenario or individual.

If who we are is our life’s product and new scenarios are our opportunities to utilize -- or at least better understand -- our product, then I posit that our personal VIPs are those individuals who can influence those sales opportunities. VIPs help us by providing feedback about our product. VIPs tell us about features we may have overlooked or that we underestimate. VIPs communicate with others about our utility and, as a result, provide new markets in which to promote and understand our product.

We share a bit of ourselves with every person in our life. The individuals we meet in life each have a different perspective on who we are. Some individuals have earned titles of trust: “friend”, “lover”, “companion”. The individuals who help you find new opportunities to understand and improve who you are “very important people”. Some people come into your life simply to make a transaction; to receive some specific use from your product or service in exchange for some specific use of their own product or service. Those people are merely customers and consumers. The people who form lasting relationships with you, bond with you, and feature you as a valued part of their life are “very important people”.

So, who are your VIPs?

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States of America. A day when many people spend some time with -- or at least thinking of -- the people they care about most in life. As you consider the influences and significance of the people in your life today, pay special attention to your “very important people”. Who is it that has special understanding and access to the true nature of who you are? Who promotes you, uplifts you, and encourages you to explore new possibilities? Who gives you goals to aim for and benchmarks of growth? Who values you more than just a transaction of interaction and utility? Who wears your brand, talks about your achievements, and visits your events as if they were their own? Who provides constructive feedback to you, about both your successes and about your opportunities for growth?

VIPs can influence your sales. Therefore, put special attention into the people who will improve and build up who you are. Recognize and acknowledge your VIPs. Connect with them and tell them “thank you” for being very important people in your life and for helping you to discover, explore, investigate, and promote who you are as a person and connecting you with opportunities in life.

Role Models of Defiance

Today, it is again the fifth of November. A day during which I like to consider my place in society and society's place within myself. In previous years, I've used this day to prompt discussions regarding privacy, surveillance, control, and even a bit about setting boundaries. This year, I'd like to discuss the importance of questioning established systems.

I've written before about the costs and concepts of tradition and complacency before, emphasizing the benefits of critical thinking and asking "Why?".

You would not devour a meal before minimally evaluating its edibility, therefore I also encourage you to carefully consider what intellectually digest before you risk poisoning your reason and wisdom.

The same sentiments can be applied toward establishments of authority and organization. In fact, a number of psychological studies imply the challenges encountered when one does not have a healthy counter-balance for authority. One particularly famous (or infamous) study is the Milgram experiment [Wikipedia]. In these studies, Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram measured an individual's willingness to obey the orders of an external authority and inflict perceived harm upon another person, even as inflicted that harm was contrary to their personal ethic. (Hank Green does a great job of summarizing this experiment in "Social Influence: Crash Course Psychology #38" [YouTube])

Of the results summarized by Hank, one significantly caught my attention: "Subjects are more likely to comply with orders if they didn't see anyone else disobeying, no role models of defiance." (You'll notice that it was Hank's words within that video which inspired this article's title and prompted its contents.) When I first heard those words a couple years ago, the gears began turning in my mind. What does it mean to be a "role model of defiance"? Do we have any or many in our society which stand in such a role?


(Please read footnote ¹ regarding this image.)